A Map Of The Things I Had To Let Go

Here are the things that I took out of my purse today forever.

From left to right, top to bottom:

Fred Meyers Rewards Card: I don't think anyone has a physical Fred Meyers Rewards Card anymore. They kind of screwed themselves when they let people put their phone numbers in instead. I don't understand this particular card, by the way. It apparently bestows magical gifts upon you when you're not looking. I'll believe it when I see it, Fred Meyers.

Winn Dixie Rewards Card: I kept this for a long time because of "A Milli." But let's be real. I don't shop here.

Portland Art Museum Membership Card: Dear Mom. Sorry I stole your Portland Art Museum Membership. You probably go there all the time and rifle through your purse for this, and I have it, because I stole it from you. Now it smells like children's vomit. I apologize. Love, Sophie.

Boy Scouts Venture "Krewe" 747 Official Troupe Leader Card: Hey everybody, it's legal for me to take children camping! I did that once a month for two years. It still may be the most meaningful thing I've ever done. That said, I have still not yet met a man who has a fetish for my Venture Crew Troupe Leader's Uniform, so it has not yet paid for itself. Consider that an invitation, if you are a fetishist.

Nirvana Gift Card: One time I did a research study for 8 hours on a Saturday because they said we could get a gift card to anywhere in the whole entire city. I could've picked a grocery store, or Target, or a veterinarian. I picked the place that has an All-You-Can-Eat Indian food buffet on Sunday nights. And that's really all you need to know about me.

Bob Moser's Business Card: Bob Moser remains one of the most honest, down-to-earth, brilliant journalists and mentors I have ever met. He bought me a great crusty bread at a divey trattoria in Greenwich Village. He definitely, definitely doesn't remember me. But he did say I could always call, so I kept the card anyway. I hope somewhere in the world he knows that an aspiring writer thinks he's the bee's knees.

Stumptown Punch Card: Honestly? I was never going to buy that much Stumptown. I have never lived in Portland as an adult, and I will probably not live in Portland as an adult until after they use punch cards anymore. They may already be done with these. I really just liked how there was gold on this one. I have modeled many DIY fonts after this very card.

Rabouin Faculty ID: Rabouin is not a school anymore. I am not a teacher there. You can't tell how sad I am in that picture, but I am very sad there. I want pictures of HAPPY me. So that one goes in the box.

Back To Eden Ice Cream Punch Card: This is one of those symbolic ones that I have to put away because I need to move on. 

So moving on, then...